I found out about this article about Jeff Bezos’s decision process that lead to his most prolific business ever. Upon reading it, I told myself: That’s what everything worth our time in life is all about!

Just like the article says towards the end, we may not all become multi-billionaires with this process, but it’s still valuable to anyone out there wanting to better their lives.

The part about our sex life is, at least in the country I was born into, thrown into a place of ridicule, cheap commercialism, or sheer prejudice. Needless to say, even the most successful people here need a personal and intimate life. It is that basic to all of us, a lot like food, water, and air. But the collective consciousness hasn’t given this a thought extra.

If you’re part of the people that have crossed that bridge already, then here are four questions to consider before embarking on a sexual growth journey.

How do I feel about my sex life?

Before anything else, your present-day experience needs a sincere evaluation. I can think of few things in life that offer the so necessary relief and self-expression needed by our build.

We need to breathe and feed, we need to move, we need to love, and we need to express our sexual impulse.

Take any of these away and either you’re not alive or have a not so fabulous life.

If you feel sex is a whim, I can respect this and also fundamentally and utterly disagree. However, I can’t push anyone to think differently. I can only reason and choose for myself. And I can encourage everyone to do the same.

What happens if I keep my sex life as it is?

Am I going to be okay with the trend I’m on right now? If you have a trusting feeling, this means you’ve already found a way to keep yourself expressive and confident and fresh in your sex life.

If you have a doubt, whether slight or significant, then consider only that a trend in motion is harder to budge without proper attention and effort.

Yet, things can improve, and you can put to ease one of the most significant discomforts we all have: the worry (or anxiety) we’re not good enough, attractive, or sexual enough.

Also, the worry or fear of competition – which in sex is considerable still. The more doubts you have about your sexual expression, the more prone you are to enter the pitfalls of sexual competition.

What will my intimacy feel like if I do change?

Few things in our lives are so powerful as imagination.

It’s not only Albert Einstein and John Lennon, two unusual men with large footprints on humanity, who beautifully pointed out to imagination.

In any growth endeavor, imagination and visualization are vital tools for a successful process. It’s the same with your sex life: where do you want it to get?

If you can’t envision it, chances are someone else will do it for you. And I can’t think of anything else so challenging as having your intimate life be strongly influenced by external forces instead of your own will and imagination.

You can’t seize complete control on anything or anyone (including yourself) -this is true! Yet, you have a tremendous role in the quality of your life – and sex is a significant part of it.

Sexually powerful people are harder to influence or subjugate, I imagine you have already noticed or figured that out.

Twenty years from now, what’s my sex life like?

This is important for all of us, regardless of what relationship style we engage in.

Have you ever thought about your body and its needs in time?

Alongside with physical activity and healthy nutrition (which I approached more extensively here), sex keeps us looking and behaving younger for a longer time.

You may have given health a good thought, but have you included sex in the picture? If yes, do you feel if your current sex life going to serve you right in the future?


In my opinion, everyone needs to address sexuality at a certain point in their life. I can only wish they realize this before they part paths with someone special for before they hit a major crisis in their sex life. For the simple fact that it’s much harder to grow from a crisis than from a healthy and calm inner state.

No matter what access to entertainment resources you have, just as you need a medical outlook, a physical activity approach, you’re going to need a strategic look at your sex life.

I hope you take it sooner than later. I hope you go for sexual growth when it’s way much easier to handle and implement, then when you have to sort out suffering, regrets, hatred, or feelings of betrayal.


In the sexDOJO for women, I offer support and hold space. Women work on their pleasure, do practices, and take care of their sexual wiring. Together with me, women build and embody their vision for their sex life.

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