Skip to main content


Many years ago, I was going to a fitness lifestyle presentation.

Imagine a few people in a gym, not working out but sitting on mattresses and watching a projection. At this very informal talk, we were shown slides about food, hydration, caloric intake, how much the body consumed to function normally, do various workouts, watch TV, or work on a laptop. 

We were invited to assess how much energy we needed for all those activities.

At that point, I asked:
“What about my good mood? How much energy do I put into that?”

Looking back, I realize that I had annoyed the man. Although he didn’t say anything (not even an answer), I think he found my question stupid. But I did not. And, to this day, I have a great appreciation for an uplifting spirit and how that needs energy too.

Vitality, your biggest takeaway from a coach

As a coach, I am a resource for others, through sessions, programs, even through how I show up on social media. I fuel my coaching with my energy. I include the energy I invest to be in a good mood, especially when many coachees have painful problems, which drain their energy. And I rightly understand them.

While in a few days of “medical leave,” I notice how little we approach the vitality of the actual coach. Or the” hot blood,” as I say it in colloquial terms. 

Who would work with an exhausted coach?
Who would pay a coach without oomph, without fire?
After all, you expect a coach to be a bit of a duracell.

And if you got upset or exhausted, because that can also happen, you’d expect the coach to help you uplift your spirits, at least a little. Or the group’s, if the coach works with more people. (The trainers are here too.)

I’m not talking about something fake or forced. I think we can all feel when a person pushes things. In my opinion, forcing (especially as a facilitator) sucks people dry of energy. That’s why I dislike the “fake it ‘till you make it” approach.

For a coach, their natural energy or vitality is a big part of what they invest or bring in facilitation. Yes, you do take that from them as well, even if they do not say it at any time.

It is not socially acceptable for coaches to enunciate that they bring their vitality to work. But the truth is, coaches use this. Sometimes quite a lot, depending on the situations brought in by coaching. And the purpose is to help people get a little more optimistic. (Unless someone needs therapy, and that’s where things get even more complicated. I have all the respect for therapists.)

As I meditate on what it means for me to take care of my vitality, I look at: 

  • how I use it in work and other parts of the day
  • where it goes faster
  • how it gets consumed or depleted (i.e., pointlessly, from inappropriate interactions or unwanted situations)
  • how I recharge it (I can safely say it’s more than just about rest)
  • how I keep it in flow over more extended periods
  • how I increase it
  • how I cultivate it in the long run 

Vitality is a precious commodity for each one of us. And especially in long term intimate relationships.

Vitality can be taken care of in relationships with a bit of intention. Or, with disregard or ignorance to it, it can be depleted quite fast.

Somatic practices are one of the ways I can support you to foster your vitality. If it is a precious commodity in your intimate relationship too, then this will be a delight for sure. 


Work with me through:
The 1-to-1 coaching package, English online classes in the sexDOJO™ for women (five complex programs, with concepts explained, practices facilitated, Q&As) Romanian introductory online classes (only for Romanian speakers). You can also join my newsletter, where I announce firsthand all my news and launches.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.