A few years ago, while speaking at a personal development event, I was asked by someone in the audience if I had any recommendations for a specific routine. I answered into the microphone:
“I don’t. Because there is no such thing. Everyone is different in this regard.”
At the end of the event, the organizer reached out to me and told me that my response had not been professional. I replied:”-On the contrary!” My answer really had been professional! And I had respected the ethical guidelines of my training when I gave it. We are really different, and the topic of sexuality is very sensitive. I would do a disservice to anyone I told to do X things for Y times a day or a week, without considering what works for them.
Today I also say that it would be absurd. But I am not a marketing and business “success.” Because marketing says to multiply and scale everything. Whereas I essentially consider and go on the idea that personal development is not scalable but personal. Everyone creates their path for themselves.
I also say that it would be debilitating on a psycho-emotional level to tell people how often to make love, how to do it, or what orgasms to have. And if they didn’t live precisely by those standards, then they’d have a problem, and they’d need me.
No freaking way!
The fact that most of us are looking for a specialist when we encounter a problem is neither surprising nor accidental. (-!)
Our economic and social model is based mainly on problems. Often, our issues are pushed in our faces through marketing to bring us to the stage of buying products or services.
Many years ago, I even received a recommendation in this regard from someone who did (and still does) marketing: “-Stick the problems forward!”
Frustration, complexes, comparisons, and lack make people stable and consistent buyers/consumers.
Rarely do people buy personal growth because they are well and seek to develop themselves elegantly and at ease. Or because they want to cultivate something for the long run, to grow from a place of inner strength into sovereignty. This is the economic truth, applicable in personal development as well.
With the sexual “education” current nowadays, there are many messages, many pieces of information, and with them, the pressure (often veiled) to be, express, do things in a certain way.
Well, here lies the border of erotic sovereignty.
In fact, this is the border of social, economic, thinking, or spiritual sovereignty.
HERE ARE TWO QUESTIONS:
On both sides of the border of your sovereignty.
👉 Do I go without ever wondering how much of my image, desires, or even my erotic or sexuality decisions are driven from outside of myself? (under the line of your sovereignty)
👉Do I analyze myself for a while (with or without help) and try to see what’s mine and authentic, fluid, natural, and evolutionary to me? (above the line of your sovereignty)
Take some time with these two questions. They are not easy.
At the same time, there is no correct or standard answer.
There is only what you feel. Over time, I guarantee that your feelings, thoughts, moods that arise from these questions will be clarified. Just bear the ambiguity, the” I don’t know!” or the absurd for a bit.
If you are open to receiving anything from me right now, then I hope it’s this thought:
Allow yourself to look at your erotic and sexual expression as it is now, as the best thing possible momentarily, for you.
Yes! It may also mean that now you are seeking someone to tell you precisely what to do, and not to ask you what you feel, think, or what you have tried in the past.
This is also sovereignty if you consciously choose it, and it’s not based on worry, fear, or complexes. That’s how you feel now, and you don’t apologize or feel inferior for it.
And when you feel that the time has come to approach it differently, that is, not to have someone tell you step by step, that is also perfect!
Everything you choose to read, do, explore from that moment onward will be from your erotic sovereignty.
And, in case this nickel didn’t fall yet, you define your intimate success. Yes! Ideally, you define it based on what you live, embody, and feel. You base your definition on what gives you strength. That’s the landmark.
If you find what I wrote here ambiguous, and you can’t wrap your mind around the notion of erotic sovereignty, look again at the two questions above. And keep in mind that there is only YOUR answer. Even though it’s ”I don’t know!” ”I don’t understand!” or ”I’ll get back to it some other time.”
What’s the catch with this article? None!
I have no call to action, no link, or no program at this time.
It would really be against the notion of erotic sovereignty to do that. And I don’t want to do that.
My desire is to work with people who have planted a seed of freedom in their souls. When they feel it. From the place of sovereignty, the process is more beautiful, fluid, and has much better results.✌️